Why does voltaire hate new jersey

Saturday, December 11 Sat, Dec Concourse, N Broadway, Knoxville, This event will be all ages for the duration of the concert and will convert to an 18 and up only Temple dance night after Voltaire's performance. Riding A Black Unicorn Nov Dec 4. Aurelio Voltaire in St. Louis at The Crack Fox! Dec Get tickets. View on Google Maps. And it helped me to form a picture of just how horrifying their experience was. A few examples of this language being used in such an appropriate way is this: "You're an asshole, Jersey Devil!

It was perfect and really made me laugh out loud. I think my favorite character in this book was definitely Villy Bats. He starts out as a total jerk who is quite full of himself, despite being a has been.

He gets easily annoyed with the other characters and expects a lot more from them than he should. He starts out as a total ass and I just wanted to belt him in the head. But he slowly realizes he really needs to rely on these people to help him get through a tough situation and it's great to watch him develo, become a better person and even begin to form friendships and care about others. I also had fun picturing him in my mind because I could totally see Voltaire playing this part.

Since I know he originally pictured himself doing so, it just made it even more concrete in my mind. AND having just interviewed him for my blog, I know his sarcasm and snarkiness, he would be a perfect Villy Bats! It's very easy to picture what I know as the dense forests and grassy swamps, the soft sands and the eeriness of being out in the middle of nowhere. Ok, so I haven't been there at night, but having heard numerous times about the Jersey Devil, I'm pretty sure I never want to be!

I can so relate to him calling NJ the "gateway to hell. And this is the picture that most people who travel through the state get, because their experience is of driving by the many refineries that line our turnpike belching filth and smoke into the sky.

But NJ is actually quite beautiful when you move west of this highway, something someone who lives in NYC usually doesn't get to experience. It was totally relatable to me and I loved every minute of it! I did find the first few chapters to be a bit more slow than I would have liked. I understood the need for world building and to show the different characters, but I was looking for action!

So, if you're looking for a horror read that is funny and really leaves you wanting to continue to turn the pages to find out what happens to the characters, this is the book for you. It's a mix of Stephen King, Koontz and your favorite comic all rolled into one! A wonderful debut novel for this author!

I'm looking forward to reading more from him in the future for sure! Jeff Mach. Author 9 books 33 followers. While my own cameo in this book is hilariously non-flattering, this is a really well-thought-out, somewhat self-deprecating, funny, interesting horror-comedy-music tale. I'd highly recommend it. I instantly wanted to read it because of the publisher it was coming from.

I will admit that I had never really come across Voltaire before. I had heard his name around the web and stuff but didn't really know who he was and what he did. Let me say that now I am a fully converted fan. He is seriously one of the coolest, most hilarious people I have ever come across.

I have so much love for him and his book. I didn't really know what to expect when I started to read Call of the Jersey Devil but I was lucky enough to hear Voltaire read the first 50 pages of the book at his first ever UK reading and it was just epically awesome. Voltaire's writing style is so different to any of the narratives that I have read before and that's what made me love it.

It made the book refreshing and is one of the great things about it. Voltaire did an epically fantastic job of world building in this book. The amount of depth into the backstory was brilliant and I loved it.

I had never really heard any of the legends of the Jersey Devil with me being in the UK and all so to hear the back story and just the dialogue between the characters when they are joking about the legends was awesome.

It really gave me a sense of the legends about it and prepared me for the coming events in the book and it was all down to Voltaire's fantastic writing. The characters in this book are seriously some of the most awesome characters I have ever read about.

I won't go through all the main characters as I usually do as it would make this review enormous. The Mall Rats are just so incredible and they made me laugh so much He is one of those characters that is crazy and insane and if he were real you would completely be backing away slowly which thinking 'what a weirdo' but he is freaking hilarious and had me laughing out loud so many times in this book.

Villy Bats is epically awesome and I completely pictured Voltaire himself as Villy when reading. There are many similarities between them, including their epic coolness. I love him but Villy is way more of an ass than Voltaire is.

Call of the Jersey Devil was such a fantastic book and I loved every second of it. I loved the characters and how they reacted to everything and I loved Voltaire's writing. It was just genuinelly fantastic. I could not put this book down.

The only problem I had with the book, which is minor and tiny compared to how much I loved it, is that the beginning of the book was a little bit slow. I completely understand why it was as there was so much world building and history of the Jersey Devil needed but for me it seemed like it just took to long to get to the point where the Jersey Devil was introduced.

I mean the Jersey Devil is in the title you know it's going to come into it and it just took a tad too long to get to that point. Call of the Jersey Devil is a fantastic book that will have you laughing so hard you are in stitches and holding your sides from laughing so much. It was such a fantastic start to the epicness of SHP's new imprint Spence City and it has converted me into such a huge Voltaire fan.

I will be looking out for any other books that he may be writing. I can't wait to read other things by Voltaire. He is awesome and I loved every moment of Call of the Jersey Devil. It's a fantastic read that you don't want to miss out on. There are far worse things lurking in New Jersey than The Situation. Like for instance, the gateway into Hell. A witch who has taken to resealing this gateway when needed finds herself in the woods with a motley crew of assistance: five misfit teenagers and one bitter has-been Gothic singer.

It will take all the strength they have to get rid of the worst thing to come out of New Jersey since the Real Housewives- the infamous Jersey Devil- and not everyone will make it back alive. This books caters to the goth kids that grew up reading things like Goosebumps and watching Lovecraft films but never outgrew the need for creepness. Ah well. This book turns the goth kids into the heros instead of just the side freaks or the venomous, judgemental bad guys that they're normally portrayed as.

This alone makes the book stands out and gains my favor. I'm going to Hell He's going to Hell! In a handbasket In a hand basket! And I'll have good company too. Cause if I was so bad, then there's no need to be sad, 'Cause everybody else will be there too Including you! While there's children to make sad While there's candy to be had While there's pockets left to pick While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs I'll be there.

What if I were to cut you up and mail each part To a different town? It would take the most Brilliant private eye the rest of his life Just to put you together A piece in each mailbox all over the planet From Moscow to Tokyo to Guadalajara. The Devil said, "Come here, young man, My wife and I are your biggest fans! But then he Reached into an iron chest And he picked the tool that he felt was best And then he jabbed me, in the schlong With a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs!

He turned to me, and winked and sang this song. And they said our love would fade It gets stronger everyday Some say things worth having take some time As they get older they get better.

They act like rabid monkeys, chained up at the zoo, And The Bible says that each of us is modeled after you. Well hell that should offend you Lord, if it does here's what you do. You just look down, shake your head. These tears are real, I'm jealousy I'm spite and hate, to the core I'm mean I'm nearly human!

Look at me, I'm almost a human being! Oh, trouble was afoot — they were eatin' mine Toein ' the party line, I was startin' to feel, "these guys are heels " But, the truth be told, these cannibals have got sole Hey, numbskull, look at me, I got a bone to pick with thee You ain't humerus, stop ribbin ' me Have a spine, bone up on settin' me free.

And you claim you have lots on your mind Well, we'll take care of that for you Get that damn thing off the neck I'm the head of the board now I'm bored of her head Sharpen up the blade boys, what are you waiting for? Here's where we all get ahead! Ravens land upon her hair Clouds adrift on her skin A smile that tugs upon my soul And whispers gently in my ear.

It just seems very strange to me That her quiet lonely streets And draped in all her mystery Could be so sweet and comforting.