Why do get attached so easily

The less of a healthy attachment you had as a child, the more prone you are to seek that attachment as an adult.

You will feel less secure standing on your own two feet for long periods of time like the amount of time it might take to meet and evaluate a suitable partner. So the more emotionally mature you are and the more work you have put into promoting your own growth, the less vulnerable you are to a quick and possibly unhealthy relationship.

All that being said, I hope you get the opportunity to really revel in the excitement of a new relationship. But before you attach permanently, wait until the hormones have subsided enough to allow you to think and evaluate whether or not this is the man for you. If you are comfortable being alone, working on your own and are feeling emotionally safe, these are all significant factors in developing a strong self-esteem or self-worth.

Otherwise, you are at risk of depending on your partner to fill you up and make you feel like somebody. When that happens, you will tend to get attached too fast, and then become too needy for a healthy relationship to blossom.

You need to understand that being your own person can be fun, rewarding, relaxing, exhilarating and rejuvenating. If you are comfortable with who you are and where you are at, being independent can be truly special. Throughout your lifetime you should continue growing and learning from your relationship with yourself.

Understand your depth of character and personality because this adds to your growth. Make sure that your appreciation of yourself is strong so that when you are with someone special, the love you give and the love you receive will enhance the terrific person you know yourself to be.

Amy Sherman, M. You may not, except with express written permission, distribute or commercially exploit the content. Nor may you transmit it or store it in any other website or other form of electronic retrieval system. If you want to trigger strong feelings of attraction and adoration in your man, you have to know how to get on the same frequency with him.

The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think. Deep Soulful Love. What if you knew what men secretly wanted but they could never tell you. April 23, Understand Attachment and the Inner Child. We can leave our partner feeling overwhelmed and suffocated with the intensity.

Understanding Attachment and the Inner Child In order to understand this over investment, it is important to understand more about attachment. Here is a simple process for interviewing the inner child: Did you feel abandonment in childhood? Were there inconsistencies in your living environment? Did you witness or experience trauma first hand? However, remember that your happiness is YOUR responsibility. They say that relationships are a powerful key to self-reflection; take your opportunity.

Take time to understand the real reason behind your tendency to get attached too soon. After that, I have some good news that could put things in a better, more useful light. For the More Obvious Maybe your primary attachments could have been more secure when you were little. Maybe mom or dad were not around, or were emotionally inconsistent when they were. Maybe because they did not provide proper scaffolding support as you were growing up, there was not a good transfer of how they took care of you to how you could take care of yourself.

And maybe since they did not convey how worth it you were, deep down you are still not sure yourself that you are. Now For the Less Obvious The good news, and what not as many people know and understand, is that sometimes this early intense attaching has everything to do with how amazing you are. They pick you because you are strong, and successful—maybe socially, maybe materially, maybe emotionally, maybe intellectually… In any case, you are amazing in some very important way that they wish they were.

How We Know the Difference So then how do we know the difference between good and bad attachment, when they both feel deliciously the same at the start? Be honest and dig deep into the REAL reason why you get attached too fast and too easily.

It is human nature to want to be connected to each other. There is a stage in early adulthood called Intimacy vs Isolation. To overcome this — I would first identify the reason why you get attached too fast. Be honest with yourself. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism. Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Follow Us. Terms Privacy Policy. If you:. Jump into new relationships with both feet every single time while ignoring all the red flags.

Know deep down you have a destructive pattern with men that is hurting your relationships. Understanding the destructive patterns in your love life is the only way to break them.

Let me know if either of these resonates with you by posting in the comments below. Take some time to chill with your girlfriends. Spending time with your best friends will do you a whole load of good.

Remember this cardinal rule: Hoes before bros for life. See his flaws, not just his good qualities. In fact, you may end up finding his flaws to be some of his most endearing qualities.

Let it happen in its own time. Call him out on his BS. At the start of any relationship , the guy and the gal are bound to start spewing a whole load of BS all over the place. If your new special someone is a bragger, an embellisher or sometimes a straight up jerk, call him out on it. That means that this relationship no longer consists of two people getting to know one another. Suddenly, its borders stretch out and encompass all these other people too.

Forget about the future… for now. Ask yourself what you really want. Why are you so attached to this guy anyway? Were you looking for someone desperately or did you just happen upon your dream man?