Why come out

You could make an educated guess based on how they react to other queer people. This can include people you personally know, celebrities, or even fictional characters. A common strategy is to bring up queerness or sexual orientation in passing. You could also ask them to help you tell others and offer you support during the coming out process. Video or voice calls can be helpful because you can always hang up the phone if the conversation sours. The physical distance can also give you the space to process the conversation alone afterward.

Social media posts may be even less anxiety-inducing. Unfortunately, some people may not believe you. Nobody knows your identity better than you know yourself — not even your parents or partners — and nobody else gets to define it.

Even well-intended and open-minded people might need time to process the information. The uncomfortable silence may be unpleasant, though. If they seem unsure what to say, tell them. You can suggest resources for them to learn more about how to support you. They provide help and support for people who are in crisis or feeling suicidal, or for people who simply need someone to talk and vent to. Coming out is never a one-off thing, even if you literally tell everybody you know at the same time.

Coming out is a big and personal decision. You won't know how people will react until the time comes. Listen to how people respond when you ask questions like these: "I've been reading about gay marriage. What are your thoughts on it? Is that something you'd donate to? Even when you think someone might react positively to your news, there's still no guarantee.

It could be because they worry their child might face discrimination. Don't feel forced to come out by friends or situations. Coming out is a process. Different people are ready for it at different times in their lives.

You might want to be open about who you are, but you also need to think about your own safety. If there's a risk you could be physically harmed or thrown out of the house, it's probably safer not to share. Ask yourself these questions: "How might coming out make my life more difficult? How could it make things easier? Is it worth it? If you can't talk openly about your identity, or if you're trying to figure out if you should come out, it can help to speak to a counselor or call an anonymous helpline, like the GLBT National Youth Talkline.

Having support systems in place can help you plan how to come out or not. Support systems can also help you cope if any reactions to your coming out aren't what you expected, or if you need emergency shelter. People you come out to might not react the way you expect. You will probably find that some relationships take time to settle back to what they were. Some might change permanently. Friends and family members — even the most supportive parents — may need time to get used to your news.

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